He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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