all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
