the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
