I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
