oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
