I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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