Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
