3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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