She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
