Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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