yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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