Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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