But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
