Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
