nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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