fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
