Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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