I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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