He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
