You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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