16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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