Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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