She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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