tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
