Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
