when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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