did you get engaged???
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
