what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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