He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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