I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
