What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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