I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
please come you make the beer taste better
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
