We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
