he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
