I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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