Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
no, he came in my armpit
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize