bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
