I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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