Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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