just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
