So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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