I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
