dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My hand turned me down
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
