It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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