All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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