Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize