Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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