we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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