I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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