Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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