i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
