The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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