Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
