So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
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My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I am one with the molecules