I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.