this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me