Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dating After Heartbreak
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....