i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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