I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
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