Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
