I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize